Love and Marriage Pt 2

Finally getting back to this post...

4)  You may hear the phrase "happy wife, happy life".  That, for the most part, is quite true.  When she's happy, you will be happy.  Kinda hard to have the latter without the former.  However, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't concede every point of debate just to be happy.  It does mean you need to communicate and debate in a loving manner so that you both can remain happy.  There is almost always a happy middle ground when you are divided in opinion.  Seek it out each time and you'll keep a peaceful, happy house.

5)  I've found I'm happiest in my life/marriage whenever I consistently adopt Christ's humble servant attitude.  As the psalmist says, "I'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked".  This holds true in marriage as well.  Don't strive for selfish interests.  Make sure she has her cake and then you can have your piece.  Don't keep score over who does what.  Be the servant and do everything you possibly can for her (yes, even if it leaves you dead tired).  If she is the godly woman I hope you end up with, she will seek to do the same for you and share the burdens.

6)  Be merciful!  You will probably be able to find a hundred things a day to nit pick your wife over.  Resist the urge and maintain the peace.  If you must address something (same thing happening over and over?), sandwich it in between a bunch of I love yous and use the sweetest tone you possibly can.  Better to deal with things promptly that make you cringe every time you see it happen.  If you're angry, wait until it fades before coming back to it (it will - refer to #'s 4 & 5 if you need motivation).  Remember, she may not always be so merciful in return.  That's on her.  The better you are at your end, the better she'll likely be (or get) at hers.

Enough for now.  Perhaps more later!

Love you!
Dad

It's a Girl!

Well, my sons, it looks like you're going to be the proud older brothers to a lovely young lady.  Your mom and I just found out a sister is on the way!  Not sure if I'll update the site to include notes to all of you or start a separate blog just for her.

Exciting!

Love ya,
Dad

Love and Marriage Pt 1

I guess this collection of wisdom impartation wouldn't be complete without something on love and marriage.  This is a pretty big topic, so I'll probably end up breaking it up into many segments.  I'll try to hit some highlights first.  Random stuff - whatever comes to mind.

#1  Some people say they are "called" to be single.  I put that in quotes because Jesus doesn't really call us to anything other than himself and his great commission.  That's simply their preference, and I must say, most people don't fit that category.  Many that claim so are downright miserable, neglecting a God-given desire to, in fact, be married.  Bottom line, if you feel yourself wanting to be married - do yourself a favor and get married.

#2  Do yourself a favor and marry your best friend.  You're going to spend the rest of your life with her, after all.  Marry that girl you can't live without.

#3  Consider your "love languages".  This was the theme of a popular book on the subject of relating to your spouse.  If you feel most loved through physical affection (like me), it certainly helps if she does too - or at least puts a priority on it.  Ignoring each other's love language will leave you miserable.  Skim the book - you'll get the idea.

More to come...

Love you!

Dad

Don't Settle

My heart aches today.  Just received word from your mom that the teenage son of dear family friends died today.  The details are not important.  What is important to recognize, however, is that this life is fleeting.  I'm approaching midlife statistically (if I'm not there already), but am not guaranteed even another breath.  People all around me die every day, some famous, some not.  All headed to the same endpoint of this life - death and the judgment (Hebrews 9:27).

Life here is tragic.  Life hereafter doesn't have to be.  To keep this simple, I just want to say don't ever settle for what little a worldly life here can offer.  We are all immortal.  Our existence here is but a blip on the eternal "timeline".  How we spend the rest of our eternal lives is incomparably more important than the time spent here.

Secure your eternal destiny by placing your life, your hope, your trust in the hands of Jesus.  You may end up listening to me or not, but that is the wisdom I would lovingly impart to you, my sons, with my whole heart.  One of my greatest desires is to share that abundant life Jesus promised, glorified, fulfilled and satisfied, joyful and at peace in God's presence, forever - with you.

I love you,
Dad

Means of Grace

It's really very simple.  The answer to one's spiritual dryness, one's moral decay, one's feelings of purposelessness, anxiety, or loneliness.  The life and blessed spiritual fruit that comes from being rooted in Christ requires daily maintenance.  The world, the devil, and our own sinful inclinations aim to uproot us from God, promising "freedom" and fulfillment.  They can't deliver what was meant to only come from a connectedness to our Lord.

What maintenance am I talking about?  Things like prayer, studying/meditating on God's word, worshiping with fellow Christ followers, taking part in communion, acts of service, etc.  These kinds of things are called the "means of grace".  The means by which we experience God's grace, his abundant life and power.

Make time for these.  You may not see immediate results (sometimes you will!), but lasting change takes time and consistency.  A body builder, a magnificent oak, Rome (choose your analogy) is not made in a day.  Put in the work and you'll reap the reward.  You'll see yourself becoming a strong, confident, courageous, spirit-filled man of God.  No longer a mopey, self-pitying mess.  A man able to meet his potential.

That's all for now.  I love you guys!

Dad

PS - (27 July) - Funny.  Have been rereading some older posts.  This one seems very similar to the one from January.  Guess that means its doubly important! : )

Slow Down

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?" - Micah 6:8

Also described as do justly, love mercy and walk humbly.  A great motto for our character as we seek to live out the Great Commission.  You will find that it is impossible to maintain perfectly, but we can certainly strive to improve!  I feel ashamed often for the lack of justice and mercy I display towards others, also made in the image of God.  

In seeking to rid my life of as much of these occurrences as I can, I've found one common inciting factor is hurry.  Going about my business with mind for efficiency, leads me to walk quickly, drive quickly, and engage others quickly.  When they slow me down or frustrate my efforts, however unintentionally, I get upset with them, which leads to an attitude of bitterness and a great LACK of justice and mercy.  

The solution?  Well one, if I remember to employ it anyway, is to simply slow down.  Simplify my day's agenda.  Leave early.  Remind myself often to "take it easy".  When I'm not feeling pressed, I am not nearly as irritable.  I remember that, like Christ, I live to serve rather than be served.

Meditate on these things and strive to arrange your life accordingly to employ them.  They will bring you peace and fulfillment.

I love you boys!!

Dad

Checking in

Well, it's been about two months since I last wrote something.  Taking a little break I guess.  I try to write only when I feel inspired, so I don't fill up the blog with fluff.  Also frees up more time to play with y'all!  Just wanted to say I'm still thinking about you guys and praying for you all the time.  Have really enjoyed getting to watch you grow up.  Rhett took his first steps this week and will doubtless be happy to have an easier time following you around soon, Keegan.  You clearly are best friends already.  Looking forward to all the great times we will have together from here into eternity.

On an interesting side note, you are both older brothers now!  If all goes well, you will get to meet your newest sibling early next year.  Exciting!

I love you guys!

Dad