Don't have a lot to add to the other two posts, but I did want to say something on the topic of divorce. Is it permissible? Well, biblically speaking, it is under a couple circumstances - adultery and abandonment (domestic abuse probably falls under the latter). There really isn't any instruction regarding the concept of separation (living apart, perhaps temporarily, but not divorced), so I won't say much about it either.
What I would like to say is, avoid it! For all practical purposes, jettison the idea from your vocabulary. Most of us are not subjected to the situations above. "Irreconcileable differences" they call it. Baloney. All differences can be reconciled in a way that allows a selfless, biblical-loving relationship to continue and, in time, thrive. God is the God of reconciliation. He changes hearts. Even hard ones.
Just because we have legal permission to divorce, say they commit adultery, doesn't mean we have to cast them out. Consider Hosea's treatment of Gomer (Hosea chapter 3), symbolic of God's relationship to us (persistent adulterers in our relationship with him). God doesn't simply divorce us, even though he is incredibly, justifiably entitled to do so! No, he lovingly and long-sufferingly calls us back to himself. Provided your spouse is repentant and wants your forgiveness, I would advise giving it to them. Shoot, do everything you can to help them do so. If you were unfaithful, repent and seek forgiveness. Easier said than done for sure, but a temporary period of hardship is so worth the fruit of a thriving relationship later.
If they up and leave (abandonment), I'd say it may likely be worth a shot (or shots) at trying to persuade them to reconcile and come back.
Get counsel from multiple Godly people if these situations arise. I say Godly because if they don't seek the Lord's will for their lives, they have no business counseling you. And be wise about marriage, yours will be tested! Never a bad idea to seek counseling early on, even when things are "okay", to help each other cope with the changes and see that the other is committed to building a life together. Don't wait until things break down to begin construction. Fortify from the start. Every single day be going about strengthening your marriage.
Anyway, that's enough on that. Hate divorce. Love forgiveness and reconciliation.
I love you all!
Dad
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Community
Seems my posts are getting farther apart. Ironic, seeing as how frequently I'm tormented by thoughts of being taken from you (kids you love so much will do that to you!).
I try to placate myself by reminding myself of two things - 1) our existence here is so ephemeral compared to what's in store, where I hope to enjoy life with you all once more, forevermore, and 2) your mom shouldn't have too much trouble finding a great guy down the road that will be able to love on you in my absence. I don't want you to give him a hard time if that happens. None of that "you're not my dad" stuff. God and I give them permission to be your dad (just like God gave me permission to be yours).
So what I wanted to emphasize today is the importance of surrounding yourself with Christian family. For one, God said in Genesis when creating man that it was not good that he be alone. Secondly, Jesus revealed that our true family (which may, if we are so fortunate, include our blood family) is centered around God:
"Who is my mother and who are my brothers?" And he stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." - Matthew 12:48-50
And there are many of us:
"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God's people and also members of his household." - Ephesians 2:19
"For if you belong to Christ, you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" - Galatians 3:29
"I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore." - Genesis 22:17
Wise King Solomon sums up the blessing of fellowship and community well:
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I'm reminded of the JRR Tolkien book/movie the Lord of the Rings, where Frodo owns the incredibly daunting task of venturing across the known world, into the dark land of Mordor, to destroy Sauron's ring in the volcano, Mt Doom. His gardener, the faithful Samwise, accompanies him the whole way, refusing to leave his side under any circumstances, even carrying him when he is too weak to continue. Pretty powerful image of the blessing of compassionate company along our journey through life.
The bonds of brotherhood are not quickly or easily formed. It is often true that fellow Christians may come to our aid when we need it, but there is a God-given need for fellowship, requiring an intimate bond of the heart, and that takes much time and effort to build. We are our brother/sister's surrogate Jesus, and they ours, until that time when he brings us to his side.
Gist is, don't be a loner! Life is simply too hard to attempt on our own. Invest your time in building the bonds of fellowship. Share your life openly and gratefully with those the Lord brings alongside. Doing so will enrich your life greatly. Next best thing to heaven itself.
I love you all!
Dad
I try to placate myself by reminding myself of two things - 1) our existence here is so ephemeral compared to what's in store, where I hope to enjoy life with you all once more, forevermore, and 2) your mom shouldn't have too much trouble finding a great guy down the road that will be able to love on you in my absence. I don't want you to give him a hard time if that happens. None of that "you're not my dad" stuff. God and I give them permission to be your dad (just like God gave me permission to be yours).
So what I wanted to emphasize today is the importance of surrounding yourself with Christian family. For one, God said in Genesis when creating man that it was not good that he be alone. Secondly, Jesus revealed that our true family (which may, if we are so fortunate, include our blood family) is centered around God:
"Who is my mother and who are my brothers?" And he stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." - Matthew 12:48-50
And there are many of us:
"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God's people and also members of his household." - Ephesians 2:19
"For if you belong to Christ, you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" - Galatians 3:29
"I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore." - Genesis 22:17
Wise King Solomon sums up the blessing of fellowship and community well:
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I'm reminded of the JRR Tolkien book/movie the Lord of the Rings, where Frodo owns the incredibly daunting task of venturing across the known world, into the dark land of Mordor, to destroy Sauron's ring in the volcano, Mt Doom. His gardener, the faithful Samwise, accompanies him the whole way, refusing to leave his side under any circumstances, even carrying him when he is too weak to continue. Pretty powerful image of the blessing of compassionate company along our journey through life.
The bonds of brotherhood are not quickly or easily formed. It is often true that fellow Christians may come to our aid when we need it, but there is a God-given need for fellowship, requiring an intimate bond of the heart, and that takes much time and effort to build. We are our brother/sister's surrogate Jesus, and they ours, until that time when he brings us to his side.
Gist is, don't be a loner! Life is simply too hard to attempt on our own. Invest your time in building the bonds of fellowship. Share your life openly and gratefully with those the Lord brings alongside. Doing so will enrich your life greatly. Next best thing to heaven itself.
I love you all!
Dad
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