Love and Marriage Pt 1

I guess this collection of wisdom impartation wouldn't be complete without something on love and marriage.  This is a pretty big topic, so I'll probably end up breaking it up into many segments.  I'll try to hit some highlights first.  Random stuff - whatever comes to mind.

#1  Some people say they are "called" to be single.  I put that in quotes because Jesus doesn't really call us to anything other than himself and his great commission.  That's simply their preference, and I must say, most people don't fit that category.  Many that claim so are downright miserable, neglecting a God-given desire to, in fact, be married.  Bottom line, if you feel yourself wanting to be married - do yourself a favor and get married.

#2  Do yourself a favor and marry your best friend.  You're going to spend the rest of your life with her, after all.  Marry that girl you can't live without.

#3  Consider your "love languages".  This was the theme of a popular book on the subject of relating to your spouse.  If you feel most loved through physical affection (like me), it certainly helps if she does too - or at least puts a priority on it.  Ignoring each other's love language will leave you miserable.  Skim the book - you'll get the idea.

More to come...

Love you!

Dad

Don't Settle

My heart aches today.  Just received word from your mom that the teenage son of dear family friends died today.  The details are not important.  What is important to recognize, however, is that this life is fleeting.  I'm approaching midlife statistically (if I'm not there already), but am not guaranteed even another breath.  People all around me die every day, some famous, some not.  All headed to the same endpoint of this life - death and the judgment (Hebrews 9:27).

Life here is tragic.  Life hereafter doesn't have to be.  To keep this simple, I just want to say don't ever settle for what little a worldly life here can offer.  We are all immortal.  Our existence here is but a blip on the eternal "timeline".  How we spend the rest of our eternal lives is incomparably more important than the time spent here.

Secure your eternal destiny by placing your life, your hope, your trust in the hands of Jesus.  You may end up listening to me or not, but that is the wisdom I would lovingly impart to you, my sons, with my whole heart.  One of my greatest desires is to share that abundant life Jesus promised, glorified, fulfilled and satisfied, joyful and at peace in God's presence, forever - with you.

I love you,
Dad

Means of Grace

It's really very simple.  The answer to one's spiritual dryness, one's moral decay, one's feelings of purposelessness, anxiety, or loneliness.  The life and blessed spiritual fruit that comes from being rooted in Christ requires daily maintenance.  The world, the devil, and our own sinful inclinations aim to uproot us from God, promising "freedom" and fulfillment.  They can't deliver what was meant to only come from a connectedness to our Lord.

What maintenance am I talking about?  Things like prayer, studying/meditating on God's word, worshiping with fellow Christ followers, taking part in communion, acts of service, etc.  These kinds of things are called the "means of grace".  The means by which we experience God's grace, his abundant life and power.

Make time for these.  You may not see immediate results (sometimes you will!), but lasting change takes time and consistency.  A body builder, a magnificent oak, Rome (choose your analogy) is not made in a day.  Put in the work and you'll reap the reward.  You'll see yourself becoming a strong, confident, courageous, spirit-filled man of God.  No longer a mopey, self-pitying mess.  A man able to meet his potential.

That's all for now.  I love you guys!

Dad

PS - (27 July) - Funny.  Have been rereading some older posts.  This one seems very similar to the one from January.  Guess that means its doubly important! : )

Slow Down

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?" - Micah 6:8

Also described as do justly, love mercy and walk humbly.  A great motto for our character as we seek to live out the Great Commission.  You will find that it is impossible to maintain perfectly, but we can certainly strive to improve!  I feel ashamed often for the lack of justice and mercy I display towards others, also made in the image of God.  

In seeking to rid my life of as much of these occurrences as I can, I've found one common inciting factor is hurry.  Going about my business with mind for efficiency, leads me to walk quickly, drive quickly, and engage others quickly.  When they slow me down or frustrate my efforts, however unintentionally, I get upset with them, which leads to an attitude of bitterness and a great LACK of justice and mercy.  

The solution?  Well one, if I remember to employ it anyway, is to simply slow down.  Simplify my day's agenda.  Leave early.  Remind myself often to "take it easy".  When I'm not feeling pressed, I am not nearly as irritable.  I remember that, like Christ, I live to serve rather than be served.

Meditate on these things and strive to arrange your life accordingly to employ them.  They will bring you peace and fulfillment.

I love you boys!!

Dad

Checking in

Well, it's been about two months since I last wrote something.  Taking a little break I guess.  I try to write only when I feel inspired, so I don't fill up the blog with fluff.  Also frees up more time to play with y'all!  Just wanted to say I'm still thinking about you guys and praying for you all the time.  Have really enjoyed getting to watch you grow up.  Rhett took his first steps this week and will doubtless be happy to have an easier time following you around soon, Keegan.  You clearly are best friends already.  Looking forward to all the great times we will have together from here into eternity.

On an interesting side note, you are both older brothers now!  If all goes well, you will get to meet your newest sibling early next year.  Exciting!

I love you guys!

Dad

A Powerful 2 Minutes

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." - 1 Thessalonians 5:11

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. " - Hebrew 3:13

I remember it, somewhat vaguely now, but it has stayed with me for a long time.  A medical school classmate had emailed me to encourage me when he had learned that I was considering quitting medicine.  Just a couple lines.  Probably didn't take him more than a couple minutes to produce.  But what an impact.  Filled my sails to know that someone felt it important enough to lift me up.

I have paid attention to it since.  Times when friends or family have, seemingly out of the blue, written, called or texted to say they were thinking of me or praying for me.  Very encouraging.  Nothing quite like it.  Now I have determined to employ it myself.  Not to the point of the messages becoming trite and worthless, but every so often to accomplish what the NT writers exhorted in the verses mentioned above.

Just days ago, I had someone tell me that the two sentence text message I had sent them while their spouse was in surgery was almost overwhelming - one of the nicest things someone had done for them in a long time.  Small investment perhaps.  Enormous impact.

Just wanted to emphasize that words are powerful.  Use them to build up your brothers & sisters or even your enemies.  Little, targeted missiles of love that destroy Satan's strongholds & establish God's kingdom.  Can't help but feel God smiling down when we use them.  Both the giver and gifted are blessed.  But use them wisely, because as I mentioned previously, they can seem frivolous if overused, over-dramatic or simply timed wrong.  Be intentional about looking for opportunities where a kind word would be needed and then deliver, along with a prayer for their well-being and the words' intended effect.

That's all.  Love you boys!!

Dad

"Though it's crazy, amazing
We can turn a heart with the words we say.
Mountains crumble with every syllable.
Hope can live or die.

So speak life, speak life.
To the deadest darkest night.
Speak life, speak life.
When the sun won't shine and you don't know why.
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted;
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope,
You speak love, you speak... (life)."

From "Speak Life" by Toby Mac

The Cure for Depression

There will come times in your lives where you will find yourselves depressed.  Life will have lost its luster.  Maybe you'll feel like you're just not getting anywhere.  Nothing seems exciting or interesting.  You may even feel sad or lonely.  This is normal.  Unfortunately, many don't realize that this is only a season.  Ecclesiastes says "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens" - this is just one of them.  

What to do about it?  The only cure I have found is to get your mind off yourself and put it on others - both God and your neighbor.  Pray, praise, spend some intimate time abiding with the Lord, and then go find someone to serve!  Volunteer your time rather than sitting about, doing something as simple as visiting widows, loving on some orphans, or cooking for the homeless.  Probably best to pick one of the above and just go to town.  Give a few people a lot of personal attention.  Listen to them.  That's all most people want.  Someone to notice them.  A heaven-sent friend.

You will find that when you're finished your heart will be fuller.  The day will seem a little brighter.  Best of all, you will be satisfied knowing your time was well spent.

Don't wait to jump in.  Maybe spend your first day just talking to a friend and discussing ideas along these lines.  This will help you get motivated.  But set something up right away.  Ask others (pastors or friends on social media) if you don't already know where to start.  

Later, when you have some off time, spend it setting up your next service activity or teaching yourself a skill you can employ on the behalf of others.  There are times when you will find yourselves just needing to rest ("veg").  That's okay.  We all need "me time".  Just make sure to put a reasonable cap on it, or you will find yourself wasting time and getting depressed about that.  So, as John Ortberg would say, abide then ABOUND!!  Btw, listen to his sermon series on this when you can - awesome stuff.

Well, that's enough for now.  Jesus, your mom and I are all praying for glorious victory for you!  I love you guys!

Dad