Daisy is Here!

Mom and I are hanging out at the hospital with Daisy.  Get to go home tomorrow.  We're so excited to have you as the newest addition to our family!  I guess I need to come up with a good nickname for you.  Keep wanting to call you "babe", but that's mom's!  Mom keeps calling you Rhett by mistake because she says you remind her of him at that age - same nose I guess.  DJ might work unless I come up with something else.  You captured my heart with your first look into my eyes.

Love you so much,
Dad

Pursue Excellence... Under God

Hey kids!

You will see it everywhere.  People solely devoted to being the best at, well, whatever.  Be it sports, academics, business ventures, you name it, a vast majority of your peers and neighbors will be bent on "making somebody" of themselves, spending sometimes insane amounts of time and effort toward this end.

While the pursuit of excellence isn't a bad thing, perfectionism is actually idolatry.  We should work hard to get better at things that are important to us, because that glorifies God.  But when those efforts start impeding our relationships with God and others, it's best to consider changing things up.  Only you will really know if this is the case, although you may receive feedback from others that I would advise you to ruminate over.  Sometimes others can see things we might be blinded to.  However, sometimes others are simply jealous at ones accomplishments and are only trying to bring you down.  Gotta be able to discern the difference!

Proverbs 11:14: "...In the multitude of counselors there is safety"

Have fun, aim high and glorify God with your efforts!

Love you!

Dad

"All Things Are Lawful"

Hey kids,

Your mother and I are trying to enjoy the simple pleasures of Christmas while preparing for family guests and Daisy's arrival.  Got the lights up and the tree, although it's only decorated on the top half (thanks to Rhett's kleptomania)!  Sharing advent calendars and Christmas stories with you boys, although you don't really understand any of it yet (other than gift unwrapping).

I just finished a fantasy football season with friends.  The game will probably still be around by the time you all are old enough to know what I'm talking about.  Am quite happy it's over because I found it a little too fun (invested more time than anticipated) although the players themselves a little too hard to root for.  I love sports, but the professional sports world, like most things, is saturated with worldliness - violence, hatred, lust, greed, humanism, etc.  Hard to find athletes to be proud of.  Too easy to find ones that make you want to boycott their world.  Decided to do just that, actually.  Will still play sports myself, and certainly with you guys, but won't follow the pros (or college really).  Not that I'll ban it or anything.  Would just rather spend that time doing other, better, things - like investing time with you all!

The reason I bring this up is to discuss a passage in scripture (1 Cor 10:23):

"All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful"

Paul wasn't referring to things that were obviously unlawful, as referenced clearly in other areas of God's word.  He was referring to the "gray areas".  People in his time were not sure whether it was permitted to eat certain foods, employ certain customs, or take part in certain festivals, etc.  He was trying to inform them that, while they are permitted to engage in pretty much anything (freedom!), they still need to judge rightly whether it is to their advantage to do so (responsibility!).

Getting back to my example, are sports good?  They certainly can be.  And in other ways, not so much.  Are we free to play?  Yes!  Are we free to watch?  Yes!  Are those equally "helpful"?  Depends on the circumstances.  I have judged for myself that watching pro sports is not worth my time investment.  There may be circumstances where I will tolerate it for the bigger good (social occasions), but I won't say I am a pro/college sports fan.  Rather than try to explain this to others, I'll probably just say "I'm not really into watching, though I like to play".

Anyway, you get the point.  There are other areas where I employ this verse too.  Like music.  If I get to choose, I would prefer to listen to Christian music because it is uplifting to my spirit.  Not that secular music is inherently unlawful (although some selections are certainly dishonorable!).  I am free to listen to anything.  But the one I find more "helpful" than the other.

Another biblical quote that plays into this comes from Jesus in Matthew 15:11:

"It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person."

To apply that to music, what goes in our ears does not defile us.  No, we are already sinners, fortunately covered by God's grace!  On the other hand, it would behoove us to choose rightly when our conscience beckons us.  In other words, listening to "Running With The Devil" by Van Halen on the radio won't send us to hell, but certainly there is a better choice?

So, I encourage you to choose things that are helpful for you and honoring to God.  Consider how you spend your time, what activities you take part in, etc.  Feel free to leave behind the stuff that simply doesn't help you worship God, love others, or enjoy life.  Enjoy the abundance of better alternatives!

I love you!

Dad

Sound Judgment

Proverbs 3:21-26:
My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight,
    preserve sound judgment and discretion;
22 they will be life for you,
    an ornament to grace your neck.
23 Then you will go on your way in safety,
    and your foot will not stumble.
24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
    when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
25 Have no fear of sudden disaster
    or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
26 for the Lord will be at your side
    and will keep your foot from being snared.

There were a couple things I wanted to talk with you about today.  Firstly, I read a news story today about a young chess grandmaster who fell to his death from his 12th story balcony because he was engaging in extremely risky parkour acrobatics.  The lesson here is that you can be incredibly smart and still make incredibly bad judgments.  Remember, your lives are not your own to risk as you please.  If I had to choose between smarts and good judgment, I'd pick and recommend the latter!  It's more likely to lead to a long, happy, and productive life in God's service!

The other thing ties in with the verse you see above "when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet".  Sinful choices (greed, envy, lust, etc) will rob you of your peace and plague you with consequences you may not have predicted.  For me, I know the guilt/shame that comes with making sinful choices leads me to being angry with myself.  That tends to boil over into my interactions with others, where I make more bad choices out of irritability and the cycle rages on.  I may have preached this before, I don't recall.  

Be mindful!  Choose God's ways, even when you may not see the immediate benefit or, conversely, the immediate consequences of disobedience.  The better you are able to accomplish this, the sweeter your life, and sleep, will be.  Not to mention, you will be looked upon with admiration ("an ornament to grace your neck").  Defend your peace!  Fight the sin in your lives.  Pray for wisdom.  And as the psalmist says, preserve sound judgment and discretion.  

I love you!

Dad

Daisy Joy

Hello my beautiful one,

I just wanted to say I'm so excited to meet you in a couple months!  Feels surreal to me to be talking to my own daughter.  I will try to add posts especially for you since being our only daughter makes you unique.  But I will also keep it all on one blog since some messages will be important for you all.

I find it a great blessing that God has given you to your mother and I.  When I set out to decide on your middle name (wanted my kids to have them especially from their father), it didn't take long to come up with Joy.  Yes, it held with the J theme your brothers had, but I wanted it known that you bring me tremendous joy and if I only get to choose one word/name for you, that would be it.  I haven't laid eyes on you yet, but my heart is bursting at the seams already.

I don't want to write all my thoughts right now, but did want to get this ball rolling.

May God grant me many happy years with you!  I love you so much.  Always will.

Dad

Love and Marriage Pt 3

Don't have a lot to add to the other two posts, but I did want to say something on the topic of divorce.  Is it permissible?  Well, biblically speaking, it is under a couple circumstances - adultery and abandonment (domestic abuse probably falls under the latter).  There really isn't any instruction regarding the concept of separation (living apart, perhaps temporarily, but not divorced), so I won't say much about it either.

What I would like to say is, avoid it!  For all practical purposes, jettison the idea from your vocabulary.  Most of us are not subjected to the situations above.  "Irreconcileable differences" they call it.  Baloney.  All differences can be reconciled in a way that allows a selfless, biblical-loving relationship to continue and, in time, thrive.  God is the God of reconciliation.  He changes hearts.  Even hard ones.

Just because we have legal permission to divorce, say they commit adultery, doesn't mean we have to cast them out.  Consider Hosea's treatment of Gomer (Hosea chapter 3), symbolic of God's relationship to us (persistent adulterers in our relationship with him).  God doesn't simply divorce us, even though he is incredibly, justifiably entitled to do so!  No, he lovingly and long-sufferingly calls us back to himself.  Provided your spouse is repentant and wants your forgiveness, I would advise giving it to them.  Shoot, do everything you can to help them do so.  If you were unfaithful, repent and seek forgiveness.  Easier said than done for sure, but a temporary period of hardship is so worth the fruit of a thriving relationship later.

If they up and leave (abandonment), I'd say it may likely be worth a shot (or shots) at trying to persuade them to reconcile and come back.

Get counsel from multiple Godly people if these situations arise.  I say Godly because if they don't seek the Lord's will for their lives, they have no business counseling you.  And be wise about marriage, yours will be tested!  Never a bad idea to seek counseling early on, even when things are "okay", to help each other cope with the changes and see that the other is committed to building a life together.  Don't wait until things break down to begin construction.  Fortify from the start.  Every single day be going about strengthening your marriage.

Anyway, that's enough on that.  Hate divorce.  Love forgiveness and reconciliation.

I love you all!

Dad

Community

Seems my posts are getting farther apart.  Ironic, seeing as how frequently I'm tormented by thoughts of being taken from you (kids you love so much will do that to you!).

I try to placate myself by reminding myself of two things - 1) our existence here is so ephemeral compared to what's in store, where I hope to enjoy life with you all once more, forevermore, and 2) your mom shouldn't have too much trouble finding a great guy down the road that will be able to love on you in my absence.  I don't want you to give him a hard time if that happens.  None of that "you're not my dad" stuff.  God and I give them permission to be your dad (just like God gave me permission to be yours).

So what I wanted to emphasize today is the importance of surrounding yourself with Christian family.  For one, God said in Genesis when creating man that it was not good that he be alone.  Secondly, Jesus revealed that our true family (which may, if we are so fortunate, include our blood family) is centered around God:

"Who is my mother and who are my brothers?"  And he stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers!  For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." - Matthew 12:48-50

And there are many of us:

"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God's people and also members of his household." - Ephesians 2:19

"For if you belong to Christ, you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise" - Galatians 3:29

"I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore." - Genesis 22:17

Wise King Solomon sums up the blessing of fellowship and community well:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.  Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not easily broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I'm reminded of the JRR Tolkien book/movie the Lord of the Rings, where Frodo owns the incredibly daunting task of venturing across the known world, into the dark land of Mordor, to destroy Sauron's ring in the volcano, Mt Doom.  His gardener, the faithful Samwise, accompanies him the whole way, refusing to leave his side under any circumstances, even carrying him when he is too weak to continue.  Pretty powerful image of the blessing of compassionate company along our journey through life.

The bonds of brotherhood are not quickly or easily formed.  It is often true that fellow Christians may come to our aid when we need it, but there is a God-given need for fellowship, requiring an intimate bond of the heart, and that takes much time and effort to build.  We are our brother/sister's surrogate Jesus, and they ours, until that time when he brings us to his side.

Gist is, don't be a loner!  Life is simply too hard to attempt on our own.  Invest your time in building the bonds of fellowship.  Share your life openly and gratefully with those the Lord brings alongside.  Doing so will enrich your life greatly.  Next best thing to heaven itself.

I love you all!

Dad