Tough Job

"Hey buddy!"

That's my preferred address for each of you it seems.  I love how you, Keegan, are always running up to me to put books or toys in my lap in a not-so-subtle way of saying you want attention.  Sometimes you bring me my flip-flops, meaning you want me to take you outside.  It appears you don't care what we do so long as you get to do it with me.  Funny, that's how I feel about you boys too.  Keegan, I'll reread your truck book for the millionth time if I get to hold you in my lap again.  Rhett, I know it will be no different when you're a bit older.  In the meantime, I get to study your face as I feed you a bottle.  Truth is, I'm really looking forward to being your buddy as you two grow up.  So many things I daydream of enjoying with you.

I'm fatigued and finding it difficult to motivate myself to write these days.  Back to zombie mode since bringing Rhett home and rediscovering what life is like on 6 or less hours of sleep a night.  Trying to take care of the priorities with the energy and time I do have - helping your mom with babysitting and household chores, keeping Keegan entertained, taking the family places to break up the periods of being homebound, Bible studying, keeping up with friends/family, etc.

But then I hear about some local tragedy, like a fatal wreck on Hwy 17a (my commute road to work) yesterday, and it reminds me I better get back to this in case I get taken home earlier than expected.  My new life insurance policy doesn't take effect for another 9 days and it scares me somewhat.  I know I need to place more faith in my God in this regard ("do not be anxious about anything..."), but you may understand what I mean if/when you have kids someday.  You want so bad to make sure they are provided for if something were to happen to you.

Only lesson here is, if I'm gone, it's up to you two to look after your mother.  Yes, you will have plenty of help from our respective families, but don't forget you will be her primary caretakers.  She's a tough woman, though, and probably won't need much help until she's older.  I trust you will use your good judgement in determining how best to do that.  Companionship would mean the most to her, I can tell you that much.

As men, looking after the welfare of others is our biggest responsibility.  Family first, but also those in your community - even strangers.  Think Golden Rule and you'll be fine.  Don't get caught up trying to help everyone ("savior complex" they call it).  Sometimes you'll just have to leave people in God's gracious hands (he cares even for the sparrows, afterall).  But we are tasked to accomplish good works wherever we find ourselves.  That may mean sacrificing things we would like - a LOT.  Be it play time, "chill" time, workout time (I haven't run for almost 2 years), sleep time, money, that last piece of dessert, etc.  It's not easy, but it is rewarding.  JOY = Jesus, Others, Yourself.  Reevaluate your use of time often and prioritize as needed.

That's all for now.  I love you guys!

Dad