Last night I was on Facebook and came across a post by a friend I knew from medical school. Unfortunately, instead of remembering the good times we shared as members of a Medical Campus Outreach fellowship group, all I could think about was my quitting the profession. Although I firmly believe I made the right choice in leaving it behind, something about that career blunder (shouldn't have entered it to begin with) left me feeling guilty/shameful. A failure of sorts. To this day, I've tried to avoid my old classmates because I didn't want to be reminded of it.
As I shared this feeling with your mom, she initially tried to say it was okay, because I would never have ended up where I did in life (with her and you boys) had I not gone down that road. That, while true, didn't really make the pain go away. Still felt like a failure. Then she said something along the lines that I wasn't a failure because of who I was in Christ and what I was doing for God's kingdom. Bam! Talk about blowing away all feelings of self-pity. How could I not see that? She was right, my success in my career or education meant nothing compared to what I was doing towards the great commission. This is huge and something I can't emphasize enough to you, my boys.
Don't ever feel ashamed by where you go or can't go in school or professionally. Perfect GPAs don't matter. Degrees don't matter. Flashy jobs don't matter. All that matters is are you actively living to glorify God? Don't seek to be the best at something. That's vanity. Seek to glorify God with your best efforts. Resolve to make an impact in this world for Him, using well the limited time you have here.
When it comes to school/career, first ask yourself what you would most like to accomplish for God's kingdom. Then go acquire the tools you need to accomplish it. And, if I have taught you anything through my own professional odyssey, it's okay to start over.
I can't wait to see where your passions take you. Please, please, please - do what you love! Your God will meet your needs, and I'll teach you his basic principles of responsibility. You just need to let your hearts fly, with the grace he gives you.
I love you both so much,
Dad